Blog Blog Copyright by en Tue, 16 Jan 2018 05:58:51 -0500 Be a More Efficient Driver How would you score your driving abilities these days?

For many drivers, their driving abilities do not meet the standards to be safe on the roads. That said they continue driving. If you’re someone who has great driving abilities, you want to steer clear of those who do not.

So, when was the last time you stopped to think about the type of driver you are?

Make Sure You Adhere to the Rules of the Road

In trying to be the best driver out there, here are a few keys to achieving such a goal:

  1. Know the rules – Of most importance, be sure to know your state’s driving laws. Sure, you may have passed your learner’s permit and driver’s license tests years ago, but things change over time. As such, it is not a bad idea to pick up a copy of your state’s DMV handbook. Read through it to see if there have been any notable changes in the years since you took your driving tests.
  2. React to others – There will be times when you will want to react one to the actions of other drivers. That said do all you can to avoid road rage. All road rage does is have you and others in harm’s way. You are better off turning the other cheek and moving along. Sure, you want to lash out at times, but is it worth it?
  1. Keep focus on the road – Whether your phone or you have a desire to eat while driving, don’t get distracted. It only takes a split-second distraction on your part to lose control of your car or truck. If that occurs, you could end up paying for it in more ways than one. Use your phone or eat your meal after you have arrived at your destination.

Does Your Vehicle Measure up When it Comes to Safety?

Even though your actions behind the wheel are crucial to being safe, your vehicle plays a role too.

For instance, what if your vehicle has any of the following issues:

  • Tires – Are your tires not at the right inflation levels or are the tread on one or more of them all but shot? Either of these problems can lead to an accident sooner than later. Check the tires on a regular basis for wear and tear. Remember, the tires are one of the easier parts of the vehicle to keep an eye on.
  • Brakes – If you hear some squeaking in the brakes, this is a warning that they need some attention. Take your vehicle into your mechanic’s shop and have the brakes checked out. Although it may not quite be time for new ones, at least you are now on alert.
  • Lights – A burned out taillight or headlight is more than an inconvenience. Not only could you get pulled over by the police, you could increase your odds of an accident. Make sure to keep an eye on your lights on a regular basis.

Safety Over Money

If you are trying to save money with your vehicle, be careful how you go about that.

Sure, you may be working off of a family budget.

As it turns out, millions of people do that. That said you do not want to skimp on vehicle needs to save a few dollars here and there. Doing so could set you up for an accident. If that occurs, your expenses could be much more.

Always have your vehicle in prime condition for each time it takes to the roads.

By doing so, you and everyone around you will be safer for it.

Uncategorized Editor Fri, 15 Dec 2017 22:54:50 -0500
Must-Have Travel Essentials to Europe

Travelling to Europe is fun, but all that fun can disappear if upon your arrival you realize that you don’t have what you need to survive in Europe. The secret to packing right is getting innovative and going with small and essential items. Though beautiful, Europe is a little unsafe, and the accommodation plus travel rules of engagement may not be the best. To lessen the effects of the culture shock, pack the following essential items:

  • A multifunctional convertible bag

You need luggage that can accommodate everything you need but small enough to help you maneuver through crowds fast. If you are touring most of Europe, then a bag with straps and wheels will make it easy for you to move from one city to the other or between towns.

Ensure that the bag can carry your passport, phone, wallet, camera, and makeup. You can ask Cosmetic Consultants Canada for advice on the best beauty products that will work well on your skin after considering the prevailing weather conditions in Europe. Your makeup should fit in the bag easily.

You may want to consider getting packing cubes because they will simplify the packing and encourage orderliness. Packing cubes take less space.

  • Camera

There are countless beautiful sights you’ll come across in Europe, and you don’t want to miss them. Just think about it, the Alps, Santorini, the Eifel Tower, and the bridges of Venice. Wouldn’t you want to have photos of all these sites? Get a good camera to take high-quality images. A camera perfectly complements your smartphone camera.

  • Europe Friendly Power Adapter

Don’t assume that you will be able to plug in your Canadian or American power adapter into European power sources easily. To be safe, get an adapter with two pins as it works in nearly every country you will set foot in. The adapters also come with guidelines on how to avoid your electronics in Europe.

  • Travel insurance

Travelling isn’t always exciting, and something may go wrong along the way. Losing luggage isn’t unheard of and getting ripped off by pick pockets is the norm in Europe. For your safety and the security of your essentials, get travel insurance. Travel insurance comes into play also in case of flight delays, health emergencies and in cases of security concerns and you need emergency evacuation.

  • Activated charcoal

This isn’t always in packing lists but knowing how bad travel diarrhea is, you will need it. Though the hygiene standards in Europe are high, you can still get sick from eating unfamiliar food. Why activated charcoal? It will absorb all the toxins in your system which could have caused diarrhea. Recovery is fast with activated charcoal.

  • A water bottle

Wondering why you should carry a water bottle when you can buy it anywhere? Well, it’s all about cost cutting. Even though tap water is unsafe, you can get bottled water anywhere and refilling a reusable bottle is cheaper and reduces plastic waste.

  • The right travel gear

You have to carry flip flops, walking shoes, a quick dry towel, dark jeans and a rain jacket. You should also consider carrying some solid shampoo and a high-quality travel backpack.

Don’t forget to carry a scarf, an umbrella, passport photos and headphones. Don’t carry too much cash, leave unnecessary electronics and expensive jewelry behind and carry few books.

Uncategorized Editor Mon, 18 Sep 2017 22:52:28 -0400
Tips For Securing Quality Tenants Do you have an investment property and are seeking a new tenant? Maybe you’re a first time landlord and are looking for suggestions on the best ways to secure quality tenants that will take care of the property and meet all the terms of the lease. Follow these suggestions from the industry professionals to secure the highest quality tenants.

Prepare the property for lease. You can’t rightfully ask something of your tenants that you’re not prepared to undertake as well. Ensure the exterior of the property has no deferred maintenance or need of painting. Attend to the landscaping by trimming, mowing and updating as necessary. Curb appeal has huge value when renting a single family home or townhouse. If you are leasing a condominium, clean the front door and replace the doormat if necessary. On the interior of the unit, paint all of the rooms a bright, fresh color and steam the carpets, hardwoods and tile as needed. Pay particular attention to the cleanliness of the bathrooms and kitchen. There should be no evidence of prior tenants. Ensure that all appliances, including HVAC are in working order and have been cleaned and serviced.

Take advantage of the savings offered by Groupon coupons and head to Walgreens for basic office supplies that you will need to create a marketing piece to leave in the property for prospective tenants. This flyer should include several photos, room counts, lease terms, and your contact information. Identify the online websites to be used for listing your property for rent. Include multiple photos and a detailed narrative description of the property. The more information you include, square footage, distance to shopping, school district, etc. the higher the chance you will attract qualified prospects that are truly interested in your property.

Prepare a tenant application, terms of lease and actual lease. Have these on hand for showing and be prepared to forward them digitally to prospective tenants as well. Respond quickly to inquiries and be flexible in establishing meeting times for prospective tenants. Conduct basics prequalification on the phone to respect everyone’s time. Best of luck to you!

Uncategorized Editor Thu, 26 Jan 2017 21:59:20 -0500
How to Create a Family Budget

For singles, creating a budget is relatively easy. They tend to have a good handle on how much money they have coming in, and when tracking expenses, they only have their own to think about. But creating a family budget is a whole new ball game.

Most families have multiple sources of income. And when there are multiple spenders, that makes things much more confusing. This is one of the main reasons that families lack a formal budget. But having a budget and sticking to it can greatly improve a family's financial outlook.

Making a family budget may be tricky, but it can be done. Here's how.

1. Take inventory of all income. If a certain source of income fluctuates from month to month, use the lowest amount or average it out.

2. Keep track of all expenses for a month or so. Keep all of your receipts, and ask all family members to turn theirs in to you each day.

3. Add up your monthly expenses. Be sure to include bills, debt payments, groceries, and everyday expenses such as lunch money and transportation costs.

4. Get the family together and discuss ways you can trim the budget. Getting input from other family members will help you determine which expenses are necessary and which ones could be cut down or eliminated. Maybe you or your spouse could start taking lunch to work instead of eating out, or maybe the kids can drop an extracurricular activity.

5. In addition to individual expenses, discuss how you can cut down on the electric bill, groceries and other necessary family expenses. Consider such things as carpooling or taking public transportation, buying more generic foods and adjusting the thermostat.

6. Estimate how much you can save on regular expenses, and cut the completely unnecessary items out of the budget. Then refigure it and see where you stand.

7. If you end up with a surplus, allocate a portion of it to savings. If you're in the red, go back and rework the budget until you have more income than expenses.

Being Realistic

One reason that family budgets often fail is because they're just not realistic. It's great to cut down on expenses, but sometimes we tend to go too far. For example, cutting entertainment out of the budget completely might look good on paper, but we all need a little diversion every now and then.

Instead of cutting such things out of the budget completely, consider finding ways to lower the cost. Going back to the entertainment example, maybe you've been going to dinner and a movie as a family twice a month. But eating in and renting a new release would be much cheaper, and you would still get to spend quality time together.

Individual expenses can also be tricky. This can be resolved by allocating a certain amount for each family member to spend each week. If someone spends his entire amount before the week is up, reevaluate his expenses and adjust if necessary.

Creating a family budget can help keep spending under control, leaving more money to pay down debts and save for future goals. But in order to succeed, close monitoring is essential. Your efforts will be rewarded, however, with less financial stress and more money in the long run.

Uncategorized Editor Tue, 24 Jan 2017 10:17:42 -0500
Planning for Medicaid & A Longer Life Medicaid is complex and confusing. It wouldn’t be your fault if you felt like it was made this complicated on purpose to discourage people from trying to qualify. Lots of people feel this way. To make it worse, medicaid is mistaken for medicare very often. The basic difference is medicaid is for the poor and medicare is for the elderly.

Practically all senior citizens can receive medicare if they’ve paid their taxes during their working years. Though for seniors who do not qualify, they can buy their way in by paying set premiums to the federal government. After reviewing the benefits and you feel that it’s a bit lacking, you can buy supplemental medicare insurance to cover the holes medicare leaves behind.

Back to medicaid. This is a joint program handled by the state and the government to make sure that the poor have access to medical services. Medicaid is regulated by congress and state legislatures. The laws in place have dictated the standards for permanent residents only to qualify medicaid. They do not cover illegal aliens. The standards differ depending on your state but this, along with other concepts, applies everywhere.

Medicaid focused health-care lawyers focus on these programs to provide services to the elderly. Medicaid make sure you are provided a nursing home or receive at home care, which not many people know about. At-home care can be much more beneficial but differs with each state.  

The most commonly known program is ‘chronic care medicaid’. This is when a person reaches a physical or mental state which means they are incapable of activities of daily living or ADL. They are deemed unsafe to live in their home unassisted and require medical assistance.

Please note that Medicare does not cover payment for nursing home care. It pays for skilled nursing care within nursing homes and similar facilities only. This is one of those holes that supplemental medicare insurance can cover for a set period of time.

Seniors that need permanent nursing home solutions have 3 options:

  1. Pay for it on their own

  2. Obtain long term care insurance

  3. Try to qualify for medicaid

If your assets are limited, you will need to focus on that last option. Qualifying for long term medicaid will depend on whether you planned for medicaid in advance or if your current financial state automatically qualifies you for medicaid. In some cases, individuals have worked around lowering their assets in order to qualify while still insuring that these assets are protected or used in a beneficial way.

If you are interested in learning more about that, find a medicaid planning lawyer to help you. There are many ways you can improve your situation more swiftly than you thought and having a lawyer with practical experience and knows their way around medicaid laws in your state can really make things much better for your health and your finances.  You may have more options than you thought with different ways to plan for your future. Call up a medicaid planning lawyer today and discuss your situation for practical legal advice.

Uncategorized Editor Wed, 04 Jan 2017 01:18:15 -0500
6 Tips for Stepping out of Your Comfort Zone

Thеrе’s а reason whу wе tend tо fall into routine. It’s safe, wе know wе саn handle іt, аnd wе’rе pretty sure wе won’t screw іt uр. Wе аѕ humans аrе hardwired tо take thе straight, sure path аnd avoid potential accidents, bесаuѕе іt ensures оur survival. But now thаt wе’rе nоt hunter-gatherers anymore, survival just isn’t еnоugh.

Arе уоu living, оr аrе уоu existing? Whеn wаѕ thе last time уоu hаd аn adventure? Whеn wаѕ thе last time уоu felt аn adrenaline rush thаt hаd nothing tо do wіth running late? Or do уоu spend еvеrу day doing thе same things, іn thе same order, аt thе same times, working frоm thе minute уоu get uр tо thе minute уоu go tо bed, still feeling like уоu missed оut оn ѕоmеthіng?

Thе secret tо climbing оut оf уоur rut іѕ tо step outside уоur comfort zone. Force уоurѕеlf tо fake іt ‘til уоu make іt. Don’t worry аbоut whеthеr уоu саn handle іt, just force уоurѕеlf tо handle іt. Yоu’ll feel more alive thаn еvеr, аnd уоu’ll learn plenty аbоut уоurѕеlf.

Start Wіth Small Things

A ancient Chinese philosopher used to say "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". On уоur commute home, turn left іnѕtеаd оf right. Take а different route оn уоur run tomorrow morning. Walk into а store уоu normally just walk bу. Say hеllо tо ѕоmеоnе new. Thеѕе small steps саn land уоu іn ѕоmе оf thе most interesting places. Try exploring аn adjacent town, оr explore уоur own town thе way а tourist might. Same place, new thinking, new perspective.

Learn Sоmеthіng

Pick аn activity уоu know absolutely nothing аbоut, аnd learn іt. Don’t bе afraid оf looking stupid - уоu don’t look stupid, уоu look curious, аnd curiosity іѕ а sign оf intelligence. Nеvеr stop learning new things. Continued stimulation іѕ one оf thе best ways tо keep thе brain young no matter how оld thе body іѕ.

Do Sоmеthіng Yоu Nеvеr Thought Yоu Wоuld Do

Write а book. Collect coins. Take uр synchronized swimming. Think оf ѕоmеthіng thаt has always ѕееmеd "nоt уоu", аnd try іt. Nоt ѕоmеthіng уоu avoid fоr moral оr legal reasons, just ѕоmеthіng уоu’ve always assumed wouldn’t appeal tо уоu. Yоu might surprise уоurѕеlf. Read уоur son’s comic books. Listen tо уоur daughter’s playlist.

Face Your Fears

Afraid оf spiders? Walk into а pet store аnd ask tо hold thе tarantula. Terrified оf heights? Take аn elevator tо thе top оf а skyscraper аnd press уоur nose against thе window. Coax уоurѕеlf thе way уоu wоuld coax а kitten оut оf hiding - thеrе іѕ nothing tо bе afraid оf here, just do іt. Afraid оf public speaking? Join Toastmasters. Afraid tо fly? Schedule уоur dream trip tо New Zealand.

Face Obstacles

Tоо often, wе plan оur lives аrоund avoiding obstacles. Inѕtеаd оf avoiding thеm, face thеm head-оn. Bust thrоugh thеm. Pole vault оvеr thеm. Want уоur Master’s degree but don’t know how tо find thе money оr time? Sit down аnd figure іt оut. Stop putting things off fоr 'whеn wе have more money' оr 'whеn wе’rе settled'. Thаt’s nоt tо say уоu ѕhоuld rush into аnу major decisions wіthоut а plan, but start thе planning now. Tell уоurѕеlf whаt уоu want, thеn figure оut whаt уоu have tо do tо get іt.

Accept Help

Whether wе admit іt оr nоt, many оf uѕ аrе afraid tо accept help. Wе don’t want tо look weak, wе don’t want tо bе needy, wе don’t want tо bе аnуbоdу’s burden. But learning tо lean оn others саn help уоu achieve whаt уоu want tо achieve. Lеt уоur mom watch thе kids whіlе уоu go bасk tо school. Lеt уоur friend come wіth уоu tо hold thаt spider. Bring уоur teenager wіth уоu tо hold уоur hand аt thе top оf thаt skyscraper. Thеrе іѕ no shame іn accepting оr asking fоr help.

It саn bе very scary іndееd tо step outside thе comfort zone, but іt іѕ thе оnlу way tо break оut оf а rut. Yоu’ll find а renewed sense оf confidence аnd even ѕоmе new interests. More importantly, уоu’ll learn thаt fear іѕ just уоu holding уоurѕеlf bасk. Bе fearless іnѕtеаd, аnd reach уоur true potential.

Uncategorized Editor Mon, 08 Aug 2016 02:37:43 -0400
Saving Money on Flight Tickets and Hotels with a VPN Travelling and going from one place to another can surely be expensive. Holidays certainly can cost you a lot of money. However according to research it has been proved that the device which is used to book an airplane ticket or a hotel accommodation can add up to the overall expenses and the price of the vacations. With the help of using a VPN, it is surely possible to reduce the overall expenses and get a cheap and affordable plane ticket as well as hotel accommodation.

It all depends on where you want to travel. Depending on your destination where you want to reach and the distance travelled, flights can surely cost one a huge price and chunks of money. As a result you will end up spending a large amount of the holiday expenses only on the flight ticket. The best solution is to look out for cheap flights. Finding the most reasonable price of the flight however requires an effort. It is also worthy to check the airline websites themselves for upcoming deals and offers.

Basically travel sites and flight sides are using various cookies to track, monitor and record the number of times your original IP address has checked the price, schedule of the flight. As, a result the flight that was schedule for $500 will automatically increase to $600, once the number of checks with the same IP increase. Many flights are also sold and bought at a cheaper price depending on the location. At certain countries the same price will have higher prices while it will also show lower prices of the same flight if the location is changed. Hence simply by using a VPN, one can save a lot of money.

VPN is mornally use to increase online security for to bypass Internet blockings in countries such as China. However, with a VPN, you can also change your IP address and appear to be from another location.

A VPN is normally recommended but for getting the best results one can purchase a ProVPN also. The VPN service network is also one of the largest available hence, it is very easy for customers to choose. With the help of a VPN, you can change your current location. The location is changed by assigning the IP address of the country which you prefer the most. For example if a customer is living in the United States and you book a flight from Washington DC. After a while if you connect to a VPN server located in Romania, you will end up buying the same flight at a cheaper rate. Hence, you are able to fool the travel website and save money through VPN.

Similarly, it is possible to get the most affordable hotel accommodation with the help of VPN. If a customer is booking a hotel from Pakistan at a certain price. Then after some time, by using the VPN and changing your current location you can book the hotel at more affordable deal. Hence saving a lot of money.

There're many good VPN services to choose from, such as ExpressVPN, VyprVPN, PureVPN and more. You can test their services by using their free trials. Many of these services offer a money-back guarantee.

However, while using VPN, it is always good to delete the cookies from your computer, before you connect to a VPN and start the search. It is important to clear the cookies each time you change your server location in order to prevent the website from recognizing your identity. Surely VPN, is a great way to save money.

Uncategorized Editor Mon, 01 Aug 2016 23:29:28 -0400
How Nоt tо Take Things Personally

Wе аrе thе nucleus оf оur own lives. Taking things personally starts wіth thе word 'I'. It'ѕ а mental state whеrеіn а person іѕ ѕо 'self absorbed' оr 'self-centered' thаt hе begins tо take еvеrу antic аnd remark аѕ offensive. Thе еnd result оf thіѕ іѕ thаt thе person whо takes things personally wіll еnd uр hurting hіmѕеlf, feeling guilty аnd wіll feel like аn outcast. If аnу оf thеѕе things have happened tо уоu, thеn уоu dеfіnіtеlу take things personally аnd еnd uр being upset оr feeling incapable. But whу ѕhоuld уоu feel upset оr guilty? After аll іt іѕ ѕоmеоnе еlѕе's opinion. Thеrе аrе ways уоu саn overcome thіѕ, lеt's see how...

It'ѕ Just аn Opinion

Sоmеtіmеѕ wе take things personally assuming thаt аn act оr а statement wаѕ meant tо target оur ego оr self respect. Sо, think twice аѕ thіѕ соuld nоt bе thе reality. A person соuld have innocently said аbоut ѕоmеthіng thаt hе/she does nоt like. It does nоt mean thаt thеу аrе telling уоu ѕоmеthіng аbоut уоurѕеlf. It'ѕ mеrеlу аn opinion, а generic opinion! And whеn уоu realize thаt уоu асtuаllу felt bad аbоut ѕоmеthіng thаt wаѕ nоt said tо уоu, thеn уоu know ѕоmеwhеrе іn уоur head уоu wеrе guilty аbоut ѕоmеthіng. Ask уоurѕеlf thіѕ аnd get оvеr іt.

Know Yourself

Knowing уоurѕеlf іѕ аѕ important аѕ eating food. Bу knowing уоurѕеlf I mean thаt уоu ѕhоuld bе aware оf thе good аnd thе bad іn уоurѕеlf. And mоrеоvеr, уоu ѕhоuld accept уоurѕеlf thе way уоu аrе. If уоu аrе іn а state оf constant self denial оr criticism, уоu wіll bе more prone tо taking things personally.

Reason оut аnd Analyze

Whеn ѕоmеоnе has said оr done ѕоmеthіng tо уоu, thаt уоu feel has offended уоu іn аnу way, thеn thе first thing уоu do іѕ, reason оut 'whу' thаt person said оr dіd thаt wіth уоu. Thаt person соuld have probably given уоu а wise advise thаt уоu took оthеrwіѕе оr аnоthеr reason соuld bе thаt thе оthеr person has ѕоmе wrong perceptions аbоut уоu. Once уоu get аn answer tо уоur 'whу', уоu wіll no longer take іt personally.

Mауbе Yоu Went Wrong Sоmеwhеrе...

"Nothing іѕ completely wrong. Even а broken watch іѕ right twice а day." ~ Paulo Coelho

Sоmеоnе соuld асtuаllу bе pointing а finger аt уоu, directly оr indirectly. And аt ѕuсh times, уоu wоuld feel bad, іf ѕоmеоnе tells уоu оr reminds уоu thаt уоu аrе wrong. Whаt уоu саn do here іѕ, ask уоurѕеlf іf whаt thе оthеr person іѕ saying tо уоu іѕ right оr wrong. If thе answer comes thаt thе оthеr person wаѕ right, thеn thеrе іѕ no better bliss thаn 'realization'. Accept уоur mistakes аnd try improving оn іt. Hоwеvеr, іf thе answer іѕ thаt thе person іѕ wrong аbоut уоu, thаn talk іt оut. Talk tо thаt person аbоut how уоu felt, know whаt hіѕ views аrе, clarify thе misunderstandings.

Nobody іѕ Perfect

Do уоu know аnуоnе whо іѕ perfect? If уоur answer іѕ yes, thеn mу answer tо уоu іѕ thаt уоu dоn't know thаt person tоо wеll. Thіѕ іѕ іn no offense tо thе person уоu think іѕ perfect, but thіѕ іѕ tо tell уоu thаt 'perfection' - реr se, does nоt exist. Evеrуоnе has flawed, sinned, аnd erred аt ѕоmе point іn thеіr lives. Thіѕ іѕ bесаuѕе no one learns wіthоut making mistakes аnd thаt іѕ thе essence оf thе learning curve. Sо, take іt easy аnd keep going, thеrе аrе ѕо many important аnd better things tо do іn life.

"Unlеѕѕ I accept mу faults I wіll most сеrtаіnlу doubt mу virtues." ~ Hugh Prather

Respect Othеrs Space аnd Privacy

A common instance whеn а person takes things personally іѕ whеn а person іѕ said 'NO' tо. But а 'NO' іѕ nоt always а rejection. Whеn а person says 'No' tо уоu fоr аnуthіng, thеrе соuld bе many reasons fоr doing ѕо. If уоu ask а friend tо accompany уоu ѕоmеwhеrе аnd hе says no tо уоu, thаt does nоt mean thаt hе does nоt want tо join уоu. It соuld just mean thаt hе genuinely has no time оr іѕ іn no state tо come. Sо, respect others privacy аnd space аnd stop taking іt personally.

Know Whаt tо Expect frоm Whоm

Thеrе аrе times whеn уоu ask ѕоmеоnе fоr ѕоmеthіng аnd thе person refuses tо grant іt point blank; thаt's whеn уоu need tо know thаt thеrе іѕ nothing уоu саn do here. A few people аrе like thаt; inconsiderate аnd ruthless. Here уоu need tо take care аnd know whаt уоu аrе expecting frоm whоm.

Remove "I"

I, Me, Myself.. stop thinking thаt еvеrуthіng іѕ аbоut уоu. Yоu аrе important, very important, BUT thеrе аrе others tоо. Get оvеr thе ego problem аnd think аbоut whаt others feel, mean аnd say. Evеrуthіng said аnd done іѕ nоt always аbоut уоu. Stay unbiased! It іѕ а state оf mind whеrе а person knows thе difference bеtwееn thе right аnd wrong. It'ѕ again аbоut knowing уоur true-self аnd accepting іt wіthоut аnу hesitance аnd being аblе tо stand fоr іt. Whеn, one іѕ іn а biased state оf mind, hе/she wіll nоt seek thе right solution tо а problem bесаuѕе 'hе does nоt see things аѕ іt іѕ' but іnѕtеаd 'sees іt thе way hе wants tо see іt'.

Yоu Were Nоt Born tо Please Evеrуоnе

It іѕ ѕо difficult fighting wіth thоѕе hundred things running іn уоur own head аnd being аblе tо perform аnу one оf thеm. Imagine іf уоu start bothering аbоut hundreds оf things, thаt hundred different people think аbоut. Yоu wіll go insane! Sо stop bothering аbоut whаt others think, tell аnd expect frоm уоu аnd thеу wіll stop bothering уоu. Sеrіоuѕlу іt works (self-tested)! Do whаt уоu like аnd invest уоur time іn productive things. No one knows whаt's better fоr уоu, thаn уоurѕеlf.

Get Ovеr Your Pаѕt

Whеn а person begins tо take things personally, іt indicates thаt hе doubts hіmѕеlf. It соuld bе bесаuѕе оf thе inhibitions frоm hіѕ/hеr previous experiences. Thе оnlу way tо get rid оf thіѕ іѕ bу accepting thе раѕt аnd letting іt go. Your раѕt іѕ а part оf уоu аnd nоt being аblе tо accept іt іѕ like rejecting уоurѕеlf. Smile аt уоur раѕt; like Richard Bandler said, "Thе best thing аbоut thе раѕt іѕ thаt, іt іѕ оvеr!"

Yоu know I used tо do іt tоо. I used tо take things personally, get offended аnd hurt mуѕеlf wіth thе smallest things. Fortunately, wіth time I learned thаt no one I know оf іѕ perfect аnd thаt I wаѕn't аll thаt bad.

Yоu just need tо experience іt once tо know how strong іt feels whеn уоur emotions аrе under уоur control. And once уоu have felt іt, уоu wіll keep driving уоurѕеlf tо thіѕ blissful state again аnd again. Yоu wіll, like mе, manage tо reach а state whеrеіn уоu саn take а compliment аnd а criticism wіth equal modesty.

Uncategorized Editor Mon, 01 Aug 2016 21:40:32 -0400
Seniors - How to Live Comfortably on Less For senior people, there're many more things to consider, such as finding a good elder care service etc. Whether you are newly retired or have been for some time, adjusting to a fixed income can be difficult. After years of spending and earning, it is time to settle in and create a budget - designed to not only stretch your savings but also to give you the quality of life you deserve. The usual saving strategies still apply, such as turning out lights and lowering the thermostat, but there are many other ways to make your retirement years enjoyable and stress free.

Being a senior does have its advantages. Many retail outlets offer seniors discounts, which can be as high as fifteen percent. Restaurants, movie theatres, museums and even Broadway shows also offer discounts to seniors. Since you are retired you have the advantage of being able to shop at any time. This will give you time to make your list before shopping and allows you to visit all stores in a single day to achieve maximum savings.

Try the generic brands as they usually provide the same results at a fraction of the cost. Buying items such as toilet paper and paper towels in bulk when they are on sale is just one way to keep more of your money. In addition to the sales, use coupons to boost your savings. Many grocery stores offer double coupons up to 99 cents, so be sure to ask your customer service representative if your store offers this great deal.

For your nightlife, why not check out the senior centers in your area. The centers are made up of people in your age group and have wonderful events planned weekly, such as dancing, bingo, casino nights and movies. The list is endless and the best part is that there is just a small fee for an enjoyable evening out. Best of all, you develop friendships with other seniors who have the same interests.

Living on less does not mean you have to sacrifice quality. Rather, open your minds to doing activities that cost less. If you are not an active driver, sell your car and rely on friends and family or public transportation. Maintaining a car is a hefty expense and so is car insurance. If you can live without the car, you will have more money in your wallet.

Adjusting to living on less can be difficult in the beginning, but after a while it becomes a way of life. There are many advantages to being a senior, so embrace them and relish in the savings.

Uncategorized Editor Tue, 26 Jul 2016 05:17:46 -0400
How To Get Ready For a Family Road Trip Deciding on a family road trip can be a daunting challenge, not to mention an exercise in patience. However if you prepare ahead of time, the trip can be one of the most memorable experiences of your familyís life.

Here are some quick and easy tips for making your family road trip a fun and safe one.

First, prepare a checklist of items you will need. This will include first aid kit, food, snacks, drinks, and lots of toys, coloring books, paper and crayons, a portable DVD player so your kids can watch their favorite movies; and a cooler. A good idea is to ask the kids what games they would like to take, within limits of course.

If you plan to travel to other countries such as China, make sure you have a valid passport and other legal documents with you. You should also make sure you have books flight tickets and hotels, which can be done on websites such as

Ensure that the snacks are healthy in nature. Too many sugar snacks can have the kids bouncing off the car seats. Remember, this is a relaxing family vacation and you want to avoid the kids getting bored or repeatedly asking you when you are going to arrive.

Check online to print out games for the road that you and the kids can play along the way. There are an assortment of puzzles and riddles as well.

In addition, if you have very young children you will need to take the diaper bag and wipes for the occasional spills, blankets and pillows if applicable and a favourite item or stuffed animal for the young ones is a good idea as well.

Second, decide on the destination and then contact AAA for a trip ticket. Ask for the scenic route, one that is much more calming and pleasing to the eye, especially the driver!

Third, as you check out the planned route you may want to check online to find gas stations along the way that offer the cheapest gas. Also if there are any points of interest along the route mark them on the map and plan to stop at these sites.

Fourth, while on the road ensure that you make pit stops regularly. This will allow the kids to run around and let off some steam, while allowing the adults to stretch and reenergize. Bring along a football or soccer ball so that the entire family can have some fun while exercising at the same time.

Finally, it is very important that safety concerns are met. This includes having the car checked at your local mechanic or gas station. Ensure that the oil and filter are changed; the tires are well inflated (donít forget the spare tire, too); the windshield wipers are replaced (if needed); and the car is in great condition before you head out.

In addition, you may want to place the following items in your trunk: a lawn chair, extra blanket, emergency road kit, umbrellas, water, flashlight and batteries, a battery-powered radio, and windshield wiper cleaner. In the glove compartment include a first aid kit and cell phone charger. Keep all medications in a Ziploc bag in the glove compartment as well.

Another good idea is to take a list of telephone numbers including the hotel or motel where you are staying as well as those of family and friends you may need to contact.

If you enjoy scrapbooking, this road trip may be a perfect opportunity to add new treasures to the book. As you make stops at some scenic sites, ask the kids to find an item they would like to include in the scrapbook. Or if the kids point out something along the way that they find fascinating, take a picture of it to include in the scrapbook as well.

Engage the kids in the decision making, age appropriate, and allow them to decide what they would like to bring. Have them pack their clothes (check the suitcases afterwards) so they feel part of the overall experience. Planning ahead of time for a family road trip will save you time, stress, and money. And the kids will enjoy this adventure, too!

Uncategorized Editor Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:31:23 -0400
The Real Cost of Smoking Despite warning labels and the excessive cost, people still continue to smoke cigarettes. There are many reasons to kick the habit. Cigarettes now cost anywhere from eight, ten, or even twelve dollars per pack and if you smoke a pack a day, you will have spent upwards of three thousand dollars in one year. If there is more than one smoker in the home, the cost is off the charts. Even though the price keeps going up and up and up, people still continue to smoke.

But smoking is much more than the expense to your wallet; it is the time it takes away from your life. It has been proven that cigarettes decrease your life expectancy. Smokers have a lot more bronchial problems than people who do not smoke. The lists of complications and illnesses that can happen directly due to smoking are plentiful. Illnesses such as bronchitis, pneumonia and emphysema are rampant in smokers. Some smokers even end up suffering from lung cancer and oftentimes the cancer is detected too late to cure.

Nicotine is said to be more addictive than heroine and though many people try to quit, most fail. Smoking is a habit that can be resumed with ease even ten years after you have quit, making it one of the most dangerous habits. Yet every day even more people start smoking.

Not only does smoking affect your wallet and your health, but your family is also at risk. Second-hand smoke is very harmful and has been proven to do almost the same amount of damage, if not more, to the non-smoker in the home. Over the years, many children have come down with asthma and bronchial problems directly related to being in the home of a smoker.

If you need evidence of how damaging smoking is, just wipe your walls down; they are golden yellow from the substance left in the air. Humans are not the only ones who suffer; your pets are also at risk.

Really, there is nothing good about smoking. If you have tried all measures to quit and nothing is working, you may want to try a support group. After all, it is your money, your family and your life on the line.

Uncategorized Editor Fri, 15 Jul 2016 23:18:31 -0400
4 Thinking Errors Defiant Children use against their Parents We have all fallen victim to erroneous thinking. Sometimes we use it on purpose to make ourselves feel better about making a bad choice. Well, defiant children know how to use them to. However, if their errors in thinking are not challenged, they hold onto them and this can be detrimental later in life.

The Mind of a Child

Children donít see things the same way that parents do. Without the benefit of years of experience, they act on emotion and instinct. They want what they want and donít mind using negative tactics to get it from you. Itís all about them. Instead of evaluating a situation to see all sides, they only consider how they feel.

Children with mental disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder can get caught in a bad cycle. They start acting on these thinking errors and things spiral out of control from there. As long as you feed into their way of thinking with your behavior, they will continue to manipulate, yell, scream, and terrorize everyone around them. The solution is to get help.

4 Thinking Errors Parents of Defiant Children should be Aware of

The road to healing is long and hard. As parents, you are required to do a lot of the heavy lifting. The first step is to understand your children. Know how they think and what they do to get their way.

1. Injustice stance: This is the thought that the entire world is against them. When things donít go their way, then nothing is fair and they shouldnít have to comply. This means that if they decide that school sucks, they donít feel they should get up and go in the morning no matter what you say. In some ways, a defiant child can also be passive-aggressive by moving slowly so that they will have no other option but to get their way and stay home.

2. Pride in Negativity stance: Kids always think that they know more than their parents. Defiant kids are great for needling their parents with things that they know that their parents arenít aware of. They could say they learned how to steal or about drugs or about mature video games that they shouldnít even be playing. Itís nothing for them to tell their parents that they donít know what they are talking about to make you feel stupid or that they have one up on you.

3. Dishonesty stance: Kids do lie and will continue if they are not caught and the situation dealt with. Defiant kids use lying, telling half-truths, and keeping secrets to deny that they have been caught in bad behavior. They may even mix some truth into the story to make it seem more plausible.

4. Victim stance: This is a jewel in their crown. They always blame someone else for what happens to them or for what they do. Even if they are the aggressor, it is the other personís fault that they had to say or do something bad to them.

Recognize the methods that defiant kids use to justify their behavior. Teach them to change their way of thinking.

Uncategorized Editor Tue, 05 Jul 2016 16:34:04 -0400
House versus Condo: Which One Should I Buy? When it comes to making the decision of whether to purchase either a house or a condominium, many things will come into play. These include your age, the size of your family, and whether you have pets, live alone, or are concerned about privacy. Both housing units have their advantages as well as disadvantages; the choice depends upon your wants and needs.

When you own a home, you make all the decisions. You own your land so you can add things to the property as you like, landscape as you desire, paint your home any color scheme you wish, or leave the garbage cans out front for a week. You also have privacy; no one lives above or below you to cause any unnecessary stress. A home purchase is also a great investment as they almost always show a profit.

The down side to owning a home is that you are responsible for all repairs. You mow the lawn, pay the garbage man, and repair the roof, along with many other responsibilities. If you are young and just starting out, this may work well for you as you will be able to do most repairs yourself and this can save you a lot of money. If you are older, these types of repairs can be costly as you may need to hire someone for each situation that warrants repair.

The condominium is an option as well. If you live alone or are approaching those golden years, buying a condo can benefit you immensely. The Home Owners Association collects a fee from each owner, and with this fee it is able to provide maintenance for the building to include lawn care, garbage pick-up and the roof maintenance.

There are some downfalls, however, in that a condo is not as private as a house. You will have a neighbor above or below you, you will have to share a driveway or park in a parking lot. Condos either have no yard or just a small plot, and you must ask permission before adding anything to the outside of your home. Many condominium units allow only one pet, if any at all, and some do not allow dogs. Condominiums also do not appreciate as well as homes.

There are many considerations to keep in mind when making the decision whether to purchase a house or a condo. Both offer unique advantages as well as disadvantages. Ultimately, you have to let your unique situation dictate which of the two housing options is better for you and your family.

Uncategorized Editor Mon, 20 Jun 2016 23:20:24 -0400
7 Parenting Strategies for Dealing with Defiant Children Parenting is not for the faint of heart, especially if you have stubborn or defiant children. You need to be prepared and more determined than your children are in order to help them get through the issues that arise. Having a game plan in place is crucial for your success and theirs. Consider incorporating these parenting strategies for dealing with defiant children.

Defiant, stubborn children tend to test your patience and parenting skills to the limit on a regular basis. This is just part of raising children, for the most part. All children go through at least two defiant stages ñ the "terrible twos," when they learn to say "no" and again in the teen years, when they say "no" as they practice making mature choices and decisions.

If your child has been diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) by a doctor, you will encounter similar issues. However, there are differences related to frequency and severity due to the cause of the defiant behavior. This makes it even more important to have solid foundations, plans, and consequences in place.

Whether your child is going through one of the common defiant stages, dealing with ODD, or has another major issue, it's important to address the problem early. In fact, at the first sign of defiant behavior, model and teach your child acceptable ways to react and respond.

Here are 7 strategies to help all of you handle defiance issues successfully.

1. Build a solid foundation ñ It is never too early to begin teaching your children good manners, conflict resolution, problem solving skills, and social etiquette. The earlier you begin, the easier it will be for you and your children. Even before your babies are born, they are learning about the world around them ñ including actions, reactions, expectations, and consequences, or causes and effects. Don't be afraid to start building the foundation during the baby stage.

2. Establish boundaries, rules, and consequences ñ Establish boundaries and rules early. These should address your expectations for your children as well as your own conduct. When setting up consequences for your children, try to make them related to the specific issue. Write down the consequences so kids know what will happen if they choose to disobey or ignore rules. Depending on what your child responds to, you may restrict or disallow the use of an item, especially if it contributed to the infraction.

3. Master your self-control ñ Model a calm, cool, and collected attitude. Defiant children can be emotional and explosive. In order to deal successfully with children's outbursts, you must control your own thoughts, emotions, actions, and words. If you need to, take time to calm down before addressing the behavior issue. When you talk with your child, keep your tone of voice low, firm, and decisive as you discuss family beliefs, values, expectations, and rules.

4. Enforce consequences ñ When a child knows that consequences will not be enforced, they are less likely to follow the rules or stick to the boundaries. Your consistency in this matter will make a big difference. Donít allow your child to stay home when you go out, if they have abused the privilege. Make them go with you or stay with a relative instead of enjoying their freedom, while you are not home. When it comes to restricting the use of items, the loss of a cell phone, video game, computer, or television may be appropriate.

5. Donít give your power away ñ Defiant children want the last word. They also want you to give in to their wants and way of thinking. Refuse to argue with them. End the conversation on your terms. Let the air out of that balloon, so to speak. Don't let them wear you down. You have to be more determined than they are.

6. Refuse to bargain ñ Bargaining is a tool used by kids to get their way and get out of dealing with their responsibilities. No matter how they cry or complain, they must fix their mistake and then accept the consequences.

7. Reinforce the positive ñ Instead of giving attention when they do something wrong, praise and reward their positive behaviors. Point out when they do something well or made a thoughtful decision. Donít skimp on the positives if you want your child to model them.

Parents must take the time to plan and strategize when it comes to dealing with defiant children. As stated earlier, you have to be determined and consistent when it comes to dealing with your stubborn or defiant children. Make your plan and include one or more of these 7 parenting strategies with your defiant children.

Uncategorized Editor Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:17:16 -0400
Moving In Together? How to Deal with Household Costs Moving in together with your partner is a big step in a relationship. It is also a big step in regards to finances. Moving in together can ease the burden on both of your wallets as household costs will more than likely be shared by both of you. Advance planning is necessary for a smooth transition.

Running a household can be expensive and there are many different factors to take into consideration. The first thing you need to figure out is whose name the utility bills are going to be under. Utility bills include water, heat, electric, and phone and cable service. If only one partner is on the lease, then his or her name will have to be on the utility bills. If both partners are on the lease, the utility bills can be in either name.

Splitting the cost of the bills is the usual way for unmarried partners. Each month, when the bills become due, both of you will split the total cost in half and one will be responsible for paying the bills. This requires attention to detail. Keep the bills where they are easily accessible so both partners can view the bill for themselves and keep track of expenses for the month.

Some partners choose to set up a joint checking account for the purpose of paying bills. Even with a joint checking account, it is always good to have only one person in the house handle the finances to prevent too many hands dipping into the proverbial pot. A joint checking account will allow both partners to keep an eye on the finances and track which expenses clear. One major bonus is that both partners have access to the account and can verify expenses and debits.

A joint checking account, however, is not for everyone. If you are not comfortable with this idea, then discuss alternate payment plans with your partner. You can always ask for your partnerís share of the bill when you sit down to pay them.

The only downfall to this is that your partner may not have the money readily available. If you do not have the money available to cover your partnerís share, you run the risk of paying the bill late and incurring penalties. Another potential problem is having a partner who does not pay their portion of the bill. In this case, it is important to have a discussion and work out a plan.

Moving in together is a big step and requires planning, especially in the area of finances. It is not necessary to combine incomes, but an adequate payment plan has to be set up to cover the rent and utilities. Both partners need to work together to successfully run the household finances.

Uncategorized Editor Wed, 25 May 2016 23:22:46 -0400
What is Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Are any of your children difficult to handle? Maybe they are defiant, foul-tempered, or hard to get along with for more than five minutes. It might not be about your parenting but about their condition. Your children could be suffering from Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD.

Kids will be Kids

Thatís what old folks used to say about children when they were mischievous. All kids test their parents by pushing their boundaries with words and actions. It takes some time but most kids grow out of their questionable behavior as they approach adulthood.

Sometimes, the defiant behavior is more serious than just a ìphaseî they are going through. Instead of blaming yourself, your child, or trying to sweep the issue under the rug, it may be time to get help. Learn what you are dealing with in order to bring peace back into your home.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Children could be suffering from a condition called ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It involves chronic negative and defiant behavior on the part of your child. They exhibit a pattern of behavior that goes on for at least six months, with almost daily events of:

*Arguing with parents, teachers, and other adults
*Disobeying rules given by parents
*Losing their tempers
*Annoying people on purpose
*Being spiteful or vengeful towards others
*Showing anger and/or resentment towards others
*Irritability or annoyance at the behavior of others
*Placing blame on others instead of accepting it themselves

Children with ODD are highly disruptive. Just going out with your children can lead to problems within the family unit. Normal outings are no longer enjoyable when children exhibit this type of behavior regularly.

Children diagnosed with this condition are likely to suffer from additional issues. These can include ADD (attention-deficit disorder, ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), anxiety, depression, dyslexia, and other learning disabilities. To help resolve the behavior issues, all of the symptoms and conditions must be addressed.

The Cause of Oppositional Defiant Disorder

As with many other conditions, the cause of ODD is not definitive. It could be biological. Chemical imbalances in the brain can lead to a number of conditions that manifest themselves in the body. Genetics can play a part, if other family members have been diagnosed with ODD or other forms of mental illness. Environmental factors can also play a role, whether through food, air, or issues within the home.

Labeling defiant children as ìbadî could be detrimental to them. Something else could be at work in their bodies that might be going unnoticed. The key is to have children diagnosed by qualified professionals and address the ODD symptoms as well as any others that may present.

Uncategorized Editor Wed, 11 May 2016 12:15:50 -0400
How to Save Money on Cleaning Products Cleaning is a necessary chore if we want our homes to look presentable. In your monthly budget you can save money on cleaning supplies with a few simple tips. 

All those television commercials tout the latest and greatest cleaning solution. ìIf you want to remove tough stains fast, try this product.î ìIf you want to stop grease sticking to your kitchen surfaces, spray with this product first.î 

The advertisements are everywhere. But before you go out and spend your hard-earned money on something that may or not prove worthy of your time and elbow grease, here are some suggestions for you. 

* Buy in bulk: Stores usually give you a discount when you buy more than one of a product. If you have a cleaning solution that you have used for years and it still works for you, then you know that you will always need it. Stocking up saves money in the long run. 

* Do a little research: Just what is in those cleaning products? This is as much for you to save money as it is for the environment. Cleaners with bleach are expensive. Why not just use the bleach yourself? Lots of ingredients are just for smell or to help bind together the other compounds. 

* Make your own household cleaners: This is not as hard as it sounds. You will not be Doctor Frankenstein cooking up something dangerous in the lab. Do you have a bottle of bleach? Mixing it with four parts water to one part bleach can make an excellent disinfectant for cleaning your shower curtains and your tub. Add a little to dish water to remove tough, baked-on stains in pans. 

What about lemon juice? It is citric acid and can be used to cut grease. Simply squeeze some juice concentrated onto grease stains or mix it with warm water in a spray bottle and apply. Let sit and you can then use a sponge or damp sponge to remove that grease. 

Donít stop now. There is also white vinegar. It has many uses, which includes taking foul odors out of rugs and furniture where you have spills. It can also be mixed with warm water to clean your linoleum flooring. Mix it with water in a spray bottle and use it to clean your windows. You can also use ammonia and water. Dry with a piece of newspaper. 

* Clean regularly: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure as they say. Cleaning surfaces when spills occur or keeping to a set schedule for weekly chores prevents the build-up of hard water stains, soap scum, grease and the like. Milder cleaning products, like homemade ones, can be quite effective for regular cleaning without all the blood, sweat and tears. 

Are you looking to save money on cleaning? Donít go get a maid service. Create your own cleaning products, clean often and buy store cleaners in bulk.

Uncategorized Editor Thu, 28 Apr 2016 23:25:16 -0400
Model Appropriate Behavior for Your Children When it comes to children, you are their role model. Parents are their first teachers. It is important to let them know how to deal with various situations as they age. Appropriate responses lead to positive outcomes. Never is this more important than dealing with defiant children. Model appropriate behavior. It will make things easier on you and on your children.

What Makes Defiant Children Different

Defiant children may suffer from a condition called ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. This is more complex than just being stubborn. These children are disagreeable in the extreme and the behaviors occur almost daily. Parents often feel responsible or guilty for their childrenís behavior anyway, so this just makes the situation that much more intense. The children may break the rules, talk disrespectfully, and repeat annoying behaviors on a regular basis. Traditional types of discipline only fuel the children's anger and irritability. Parents often find themselves on a perpetual search for new ways of handling the situation.

Practice what you preach.

To help the children and family, professionals, who specialize in behavioral disorders, can offer effective methods to help parents problem-solve, decrease negativity, manage anger, and increase social skills. There are also family sessions to discuss how the issues affect each household member.

In addition, parents can make things better by modeling the behaviors they want their children to emulate. Defiant children have a problem dealing with their emotions. Looking at their parents examples can assist them in making the best choices.

Practice Handling Adult Conflicts

During the day, you have many opportunities to practice conflict resolution with the adults around you. If your children hear you yelling at the customer service person when you have an issue, your children wonít think twice about yelling at you and others. Instead of becoming loud or aggressive, learn to communicate with others calmly and quietly. Even if your children aren't anywhere around, the chances are high that someone's children are within hearing distance.

Wait Patiently and Quietly

Have you waited in line for a long time because of a slow checkout person? Donít mutter about them under your breath and then smile at them when you get to the head of the line. Resist giving people dirty looks as well. Waiting is a part of life.

Practice waiting patiently and quietly. You feel better in the end and you set the standard for your children when you model the behavior you expect to see in them. The earlier your children learn and master this skill, the better off they will be. Let's face it. To be perfectly honest, it also means that you will be embarrassed less often by your children blurting out something they obviously heard you say.

Agree to Disagree

Kids watch you interact with others. When you have a disagreement, donít yell, stoop to name-calling, or bring up the past. Deal with the situation at hand. Focus on the current issue only and redirect the focus back to the present as needed. Ideally, when people disagree, a compromise is made and each person gives a little.

There are times when a compromise just isn't possible under the circumstances. In this case, it's best to set a boundary, agreeing to disagree. This allows you to accept that the other person has a different point of view without agreeing with it.

Accept the Consequences

If you miss a payment, you get a late fee. You are responsible for paying it on time. Don't make excuses or lay the blame elsewhere. Accept that you made a mistake and do things differently next time so that you don't make the same mistake again. When you accept the consequences of your actions, your children will begin to understand that they aren't the only ones who have to take responsibility for what they do, or don't do, and say.

Use every opportunity to demonstrate positive behavior to your defiant children. It reminds them that they always have choices. The trick is to show them how to weigh the consequences of each and make the best choice.

Uncategorized Editor Tue, 19 Apr 2016 15:13:43 -0400
Accepting Defiant Child's Anger But Not Violence It’s hard to believe that your child's angry tantrum could turn into violence. More than a few caring, firm, parents have found themselves in a position when their child displayed violent behavior. Seeing your child throw or hit something can be frightening, especially in an older child. However, if your child has something like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) you probably accept that there are anger issues but you cannot permit violence in your home.

Admitting that you are afraid of your child is difficult but you must keep everyone safe. So how can you keep your child's anger from turning into acts of violence? Why does it happen? What fuels the anger and frustration? How do you diffuse it? Finding the answers with the help of a professional will help your child gain better angry-control and keep things from turning violent.

The Shame

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a condition in which symptoms often include defiance and anger or emotional issues. Many kids have times when they are contrary, moody, and stubborn with others, especially adults. However, kids who have been diagnosed with ODD, experience intense anger. Consuming anger can easily escalate into verbal or physical violence against you, their siblings, or other people. For some, just the diagnosis and related behaviors make them feel ashamed of themselves or their loved ones.

As a parent, when your child's behavior isn't appropriate, you look to experts and other parents for advice. If that advice doesn't work, you may start to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty. You may feel that others are judging you by how your child behaves. These negative feelings only add fuel to the fire, not only for you but for your child. Remind yourself and others that self-improvement is an everyday event throughout your life. This is no different.

The Thought Process

Many children with ODD have a skewed view of the adult/child relationship. They may even see themselves as an adult rather than a child. These kids may see and speak to you as if you were a peer, obey you when they feel like it, and tend to be manipulative to get what they want. You may notice that, as long as the kids get their way, everything goes smoothly. However, things can get ugly when you don't agree with your child or they are upset by your response.

Unless the skewed thought patterns are corrected, the behavior patterns could continue throughout childhood and into their adult lives. Angry, defiant children, with little control of their anger, can grow into abusive or even lethal adults, in certain circumstances.

Taking the Bang Out of Anger

While each child, family, and circumstance is different, when it comes to soothing /calming someone who is angry or diffusing a potentially violent situation, there are some common strategies that work well for many parents. To help take the explosive "bang" out of your child's blowup, you may want to incorporate some of these ideas into your strategies.

Different Strokes for Different Folks - Kids with ODD often need you to use different strategies than you might normally use. For example, you will need to focus more time on helping your child make sense of emotions and feelings. Learning how to recognize triggers and escalating anger, as well as how to self-calm, are a few things that may need extra attention or require different strategies.

Real, Relevant, and Consistent: Keep rules, boundaries, and expectations relevant and consistent. Defiant kids will push the limits to get a first-hand idea of exactly how much you will tolerate, what you will do, and most importantly, if you will be consistent. Let kids know the consequences of their actions.

When it comes to violence and safety, yours or theirs, there is no room for making exceptions or excuses. If they harm someone, it is assault. If they destroy something, it's destruction of property. If they hurt or harm an animal, it's animal cruelty. Call the police to handle the situation. Having to do this can be heartbreaking to you. However, learning where the unmovable boundaries are in real life makes later experiences easier for everyone.

Change the Channel: Channel angry energy into a constructive activity. When the kids (or you) are mad, adrenalin surges through the body. The madder you are, the more adrenalin there is. Work with your child to come up with a list of things that may help your child work out the angry feelings and energy without hurting you, themselves, animals, or tearing up property. Try each idea, making note of what worked best and what didn't work at all. Many parents and children find that cycling, running, jumping, and other whole body activities help to use up the adrenaline, often enabling everyone to think more rationally.

Combine Talk and Do: For many children and adults, officially sitting down to talk things out is overwhelming. It's easier for people to talk about uncomfortable topics or deep feelings while working on a project or activity together. For example, try discussing your child's anger or feelings while playing a 1-on-1 game of basketball, walking to the store, planting flowers, etc.

Keep Calm: Any time anger or negative emotions, like frustration or fear, are in the mix, it's extremely likely that someone will start yelling. Since you're a role model, it's important for you to keep your cool. Remind yourself that your child is yelling as a way to get rid of the adrenaline, but there are much better ways to accomplish that.

When your child starts to yell, keep your voice calm and even while speaking in a quiet, low tone. This helps your words reach primal and rational parts of the brain and tells your child that you are serious. Once you've made a decision, be firm, stick to it, and refuse to give in to emotional manipulation.

Accepting that your child may need extra help with anger issues, is good. However, violence and abuse, whether verbal, emotional, or physical, can never be tolerated or accepted, even from your child. Once violence sneaks into your home, it affects every family member, friend, and even your pets. Do everything you can to keep it out of your home and life, even if it means calling the police or other officials.

Uncategorized Editor Fri, 25 Mar 2016 03:10:48 -0400